Until the Sun burns out

By Ken | Filed in Space, Outer, blahblahblah

A friend wanted to make sure something I posted for her would be up for a while. I said it would be up “until the Sun burns out.” She asked me, “Will the Sun really burn out one day?” And I replied,

The huge pressure at the center of the Sun fuses hydrogen atoms together, releasing massive amounts of energy and causing it to shine and give us light and heat. Five billion years from now, the Sun will run out of hydrogen and will start fusing helium atoms (helium is what you get when you fuse two hydrogen atoms together, so there will be a lot handy.) This will cause the Sun to swell up to such a huge size that it envelopes the inner planets, including Earth. After about a billion years in this state, the helium will run out and, devoid of any fuel, the Sun will collapse. It will end up as a tiny, dim ball not much bigger than Earth.

But as it collapses, it will spew off most of its mass into space, creating a huge cloud of gas and dust. And one day, far in the future, some of that gas and dust might get together with some other gas and dust, and gravity might start to pull it together, and if there’s enough, it might compact tighter and tighter until it ignites as a new star. And some of the remaining dust and gas might form into little balls orbiting the star, and they’ll cool and solidify, and chemicals on those little balls will absorb the sunlight and start reacting in really special ways until the point where some of the chemicals start making exact copies of each other. And then, a very long time after that, if conditions are just right on one of those little balls orbiting that star near where our Sun used to be, someone, maybe with 10 arms or just one, with ten eyes or none, will ask a friend if the Sun will burn out one day.

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The New Six Degrees

By Ken | Filed in Funny, blahblahblah

The new version of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” is “Six Degrees of Being Fondled by Andy Dick.” (And if you know me, you’re only one degree away…)

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You might have seen the unintentionally hilarious “Demon Sheep” ad put out by Carly Whatsername on YouTube. But here’s a version with a much better soundtrack:

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I don’t want to alarm anyone, but this exists…


Gimme Dat Christian Side Hug – Watch more Funny Videos

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Focus: The News

By Ken | Filed in Funny, blahblahblah

Today’s Best Thing Ever on the Internet:


How To Report The News – Watch more Funny Videos

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When you make so many clones, you’re bound to get a few… anomalies.

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And Then This Happened…

By Ken | Filed in Funny, blahblahblah

Spock leaving the original Star Trek timeline has had some unforeseen consequences…

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Festivus? More Like Farcetivus!

By Ken | Filed in blahblahblah

I would celebrate Festivus, but there is ample evidence that Frank Costanza is just a fictional character. The aluminum pole is simply a minimalist version of the artificial Xmas tree used throughout the U.S. And the Airing of Grievances is a common practice amongst most families at Xmas (especially after some egg nog.)

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EMBED-Brazilian Bikini Boxing – Watch more free videos

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VSS Enterprise

By Ken | Filed in Space, Outer

Click the image for a nice huge press shot of the VSS Enterprise and its carrier plane, the VMS Eve. I have only two years to become a millionaire so I can afford the $200,000 ticket price.

More info at the Virgin Galactic site.

ss2-and-vms-eve-preview4

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Amelie does an amazing job, as always. And don’t forget to read the comments!

hater

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The Price of War

By Ken | Filed in Funny

Chickens

With most of the men-folk off fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, Abigail and her friends had to improvise when it came time to find dates for the Spring Social.

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On a bulletin board recently, someone stated that alien abductions were quite real, and that they were here to harvest our “genetic material,” whatever that means. Here’s my reply:

Well, here we have a civilization far more advanced than we are (able to travel between the stars in a reasonable amount of time,) and you claim they’re here to harvest our genetic material. This requires specially-equipped ships, probably a base in-system somewhere, and hundreds of highly trained individuals willing to treat another sentient species as cattle.

I also note that your alien civilization seems to act exactly as if they were the worst of Humanity.

And yet, we’re perhaps decades (or less) away from being able to efficiently move atoms around with nanotechnology. We will no doubt develop this ability long before we’re able to get to even the nearest star. We’ll be able to create and manipulate molecules (like DNA) on a massive scale.

So this alien race has decided to do it “the hard way?” Rather than just get a couple of samples from us and manipulate to their heart’s content, they feel the need to get millions of samples and to keep getting them over decades.

I would say that your idea is the product of an active imagination, but really, it’s the product of a lack of imagination. You see a phenomenon and you come up with a reason for it that fits your cynical world view. You don’t stop to think that maybe sentient beings from another planet might not act like Wall Street brokers, and that if you’re going to ascribe “magic” levels of science to them, you have to ascribe it to ALL of their sciences, not just spaceship design.

So which is more likely? That many people have alien-like sleep paralysis experiences, a number of hypnotherapists have no idea what they’re doing, and PR firms for certain Hollywood movies promote anything that will raise interest in their client’s product, – or – , that a super-advanced race (in every field but one) is abducting millions of people because they need…? Material?

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Urban Legend ER

By Ken | Filed in Funny

The implant that the government put in my head when I got my flu shot tells me that this is a funny video:

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The Three Laws

By Ken | Filed in blahblahblah

Isaac Kenimov’s Three Laws of Humanity:

1) Don’t kill people.

2) Help others.

3) Try not to be a douche.

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Curb your Trekthusiasm

By Ken | Filed in blahblahblah

A deleted scene from the movie…


EMBED-Diora Bairds Deleted Star Trek Scene – Watch more free videos

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Lego
Lego

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Computability

By Ken | Filed in blahblahblah

Need to know more about your computer? Let Steve Allen help!


Computability with Steve Allen – Watch more Funny Videos

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Laika’s Sacrifice

By Ken | Filed in blahblahblah

On this day 52 years ago, Laika (Russian for “barker”) was launched into space aboard Sputnik 2, the second satellite ever sent into space by Humans. At the time, there was no way to return her to Earth, so the Soviets had stored some poisoned food aboard, which her automatic feeder would dispense after 10 days in orbit. But Laika died only a few hours after reaching orbit. The hastily-built ship’s thermal controls malfunctioned and she succumbed to high heat in the cockpit. The Soviets would gamble and succeed many times in the early space race. Laika was not so lucky. But she was the first living creature to venture beyond Earth. Spare a thought for this poor little pioneer.

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Michael Jackson Autopsy Photo!

By Ken | Filed in Funny

Rumors swirled this week that a photo from Michael Jackson’s autopsy had been leaked. Through our exclusive connections here at Klog, we were able to obtain…

THIS EXCLUSIVE PICTURE.

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